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friday is casual sex day Un Casual Sex???

Ok so it’s 2011 and If you have been following this site you know I was kinda stingy with my loving as of last year but trust me it was a much needed much earned vacation.  Sex is the devil..so when I decided to get back into the action. I let my vagina be my guide..not pesky emotions or any other distractions that would make this thing any deeper than what it was. I was looking for what the kids call a f*ck buddy, or a Friend with benefits.

I figured hey why not indulge myself, a little pleasure is warranted time andCasual Sex Un Casual Sex???again. So I met this guy around my birthday…(why is it always around my birthday?)

Anyway, I met this gentleman and he was what the girls call dreamy.  Tall athletic and handsome, so after a few correspondences via text (once again a no no) the texts started to become steamier and a whole lot more suggestive…

Him: So You Mean you’re seeing Him and Me at the same time…Me: Uhm, is that a problem?

So when he suggested that I trek out to a hotel my bad motel in a blizzard..I don’t know my sense of adventure, my lack of sex and curiosity got the best of me..Soooo I went and shall we say it was Nice…in my Bernie Mack voice Reaall Nioce….

Very intimate for a first time and since my ex told me that he had never met a woman like me who didn’t like to cuddle after sex…I found it odd that I was in a hard embrace with this gentleman..whose name at the time of me laying there escaped me…But it’s not the nicest thing to say uhm excuse me that was fabulous uhm what’s your name again so I didn’t.

Him “I was thinking we could just like cuddle and sleep for a while first…” Me: Do you think that’s what we do here?

Instead I let my fingers do the talking and tracked him down through a mutual friend whose pic I saw on her page which she tagged him and from there I got his page…and you guessed it under relationship status it said “in a relationship”…

So I asked him about his situation and he admitted it…which wasn’t a bad thing but could’ve been said before our night of uhm… debauchery..and then he suggested that since his relationship with his lady was sooo important he thought it best we don’t do it again..No problem.

That is until the NEXT TIME…  in which he announced that he wasn’t happy in his relationship and that he was breaking up with her…to which I promptly advised against that….especially not on my account… and then the Next time, he was hurt when he announced that he wanted us to “talk first” and cuddle, to which I made a smart ass comment about us not having any boundaries..

and when I made an off handed remark about another man he asked me if I were sexually involved with the other man at the same time I was seeing him.

And being the uh…lady I am,  I made what I thought was a joke…  when I said well Not at this second…which he didn’t appreciate…which made me re-iterate his loving relationship and then I had to read him the rules of a f*ck buddy… But this exchange almost made me uncomfortable, because I didn’t feel that I would have to explain to him what it was…that’s just dumb.

It’s just sex stupid…

Now since I am good at compartmentalizing I know what it is and nothing more. I’m not the type of woman who tries to convince a man of anything. If you like it I love it..and I follow directions to the letter.

So when  a man whom I’m not interested in getting to know any futher says I’m in a relationship …I’m gonna take it how it is. I’m not trying to break them up or take her man. It’s fun until it aint and then I’m gone.  But the cuddling, and the kissing..and the things he does with me..It makes me wonder

A.  What the hell is she doing at “home”’

B. why are you coming to me for intimacy I thought men could separate intimacy from sex and

C.  Are you getting  attached or playing games with me…

Is it just me or are men starting to catch feelings. I’m still going by the old rules and it seems that I’m missing the manual… what do you think?

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Do you think I was outta line? Do you think men are getting more sensitive? Do you think he was following the rules of a cut buddy?

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  • Girl, I was in a very similar situation. After my son was born me and his father took a break. Since I knew I eventually wanted us to get back together I was just looking for fuck buddy also. I met a guy that was fun to hang out with. I was very honest with from the start and told him I wasn’t looking for anything serious. A few weeks in he asked me if I would take my baby daddy back, and I told him that I would if he wanted to be back together. Girl, then he started getting jealous and territorial. He was definetly catching feelings. After I broke things off with him he would text me all the time telling me was in love with me!
    I think that men are not used to women who only want sex from them. I think that because we are unavailable to them they want you even more. That’s just my theory on the whole thing.

  • Candace:

    Is it just me or are men starting to catch feelings. I’m still going by the old rules and it seems that I’m missing the manual… what do you think?

    It’s just you….he should maybe practice his newfound skills at home LOL

  • nikbanks:

    I don’t know but I never pushed the sex angle he did and I’m not sure what he thought I would do when he had a girlfriend. I don’t know why they expect that I should want to be with some one who I Know from the beginning of the relationship wasn’t going anywhere.

  • nikbanks:

    Candace I agree…but men like new vag like we like new shoes it is just what it is…but yes If he put the same effort into his relationship maybe they would be doing better. I’m just not that into him…

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