When I was having my casual sex encounters I frequently found them by online dating. The town I was living in didn’t have many options so I usually found guys in the next city which was about 45 minutes away.
Most times I went to them but I finally met a guy who was willing to come to me. Disclaimer: know it may seem as though I was desperate but that was not the case. I wanted to have these experiences, so I was willing to travel if it was necessary.
We decided to meet in a neutral territory which was refreshing, and it turned out he went to college in my town so he knew exactly where he wanted to meet. When I walked into the coffee shop he was standing in line placing an order and I stood next to him and immediately felt comfortable.
He offered to buy me something but I wasn’t hungry. He was very friendly and good looking but seemed a bit unkempt. He needed a haircut, his color needed to be redone and he needed a little grooming in other areas as well but other than that he was doable.
The first thing he told me was that I could not have sex with him because apparently he had already done so. I said “Why would you assume that I wanted to f*ck you”.
I don’t remember his response but I guess he just wanted to make that clear in case we took the evening to the bedroom. We decided to take a walk around town and chat some more. During our walk I was telling him one of my dreams for the future and he immediately shot it down.
Right away I noted to myself, that he would not be anything more to me but another one night stand. When we got back to my apartment we started kissing and he tried to pick me up and carry me to my room which was very awkward because he was obviously not strong enough and during foreplay he pulled a baby wipe out of his bag of supplies and wiped my private places.
I immediately started laughing because no one has ever done that to me before but I assumed he had had a bad experience. He was very weird but I felt strangely safe with him. He was not very good at any of the foreplay and on top of it all he had a very small penis and a quick trigger, it was over before it began.
He was an older guy and had partners much younger than me so I was in a totally different category. He had no idea what to do with me and the poor guy didn’t even have a clue how to touch skin as soft as mine. What I liked about him was that he was very considerate of how I felt. He asked me constantly was I okay and I appreciated that.
When I asked him would he like to come back again he said “Why would you want me to come back when you said that I don’t touch you the right way”. I did have a lot of complaints but I said “Sometimes sex is not the greatest with someone the first time but it can get better once you get to know each other better”. I told him we could be “Friends with benefits.”
He did come back again but this time he stepped up his game. He was well groomed and bought dinner. The sex improved and I reminded him that I said the second time would be better. He really was a sweet guy and he sent me a card for my birthday and even for holidays but he was trying too hard to figure out what it meant to be a friend with benefits.
I must admit that I didn’t know what it meant either and the only reason I let him come back was because he was considerate, nice, and I would have preferred to have just one person for sex. I saw him a few more times but he was still unsure of what type of person I was and what I needed or wanted.
He just could not seem to go with the flow. I think he was confused about the friend part in friends with benefits. Maybe I should have said F*ck buddy who knows? Can someone tell me what the difference is between a friend with benefits and a f*ck buddy?