Relationships are a tricky dynamic in themselves, we often confuse love with lust. Many of us even take advantage of the affections of the one who cares for us the most. It’s funny sometimes what we  fall for.  Even loose ourselves in the very person who doesn’t appreciate us, and end up hurt. Especially when we have bent over backwards to morph into the person we thought they wanted us to be, and can barely remember the person you were.

It seems like what you use to do is no longer good enough, you are become replaceable by a new model

The truth is when you look in the mirror no longer seeing yourself but who you have become through suggestions no of your own.    That’s when you have to make a decision of what’s more important to you, them or your own self worth. One must know their true value in order to make that decision.

It’s very easy to become so wrapped up into that other person that you lose yourself and all self control.

It’s seems like no matter what you do for them you, can’t get it right, yet they still want you to give more and more, without giving anything of themselves in return.

The most common mistake we make is thinking that we can change someone!

We feel that sometimes if we could just be good enough, or some how become more devoted, or just showed a little more understanding that they will come around. However the truth is that no matter what you do unless that person is willing to take the same steps as you, will never be enough for them.  Especially if you find yourself to be the one to always  give and they aren’t willing to give you anything in return.

You are wasting time on a individual who doesn’t understand your true worth. But worst of all it may just be that you don’t know your true worth yourself to allow the situation to continue.    However most men and women will test the limits believing that you’ll be around no matter what even when it hurts.

Many will play games even hesitate in giving you a commitment because they  think  you’ll be there.

 

Unfortunately many people fall into several category of daters when they allow themselves to be treated this way.  Here are a few of those categories.

“The Reserve”

The one that they know will be there.   You’re the one that has all the qualities of being the one, however they aren’t ready to make that move.   However they don’t want to lose you so they do just enough to keep you hanging on, give you just enough to keep you interested.

“The Gambler”

This one is hard because they will take all the risk to get what they want.    They will sacrifice it all under the impression it’s worth it in the end. They think that if they could just change this, or change that then you’ll come around. Well we all know, that when you gamble there are no guarantees and you could lose just for trying when the hand is dealt by a crooked dealer.

Hurt people Hurt People

A wise man once told me ” A man is complicated when he’s been hurt, it’s hard for him to give when he’s never been given. In addition to that it’s hard to understand him when you give them everything and  they aren’t  giving anything.”

A man who is always disappointed will always look for disappointment even when you don’t fail him. He’ll find a way that you do or create a situation when you have no choice but too.

“Broken Hearted Girl”

She’s been hurt so many times in every way possible that when a good man comes along she waits for him to hurt her. He’s been the best to her but she’s not willing to give in because she believes the minute she does the fairytale is over. Is is fair to make him pay for the mistakes of another?

The past is just that.  You have to learn from them and move on. The fact of the matter is so many relationships fail because they are never given a real chance. Many take old relationship baggage into new relationships and base old fears on new circumstances.

Love is complicated enough but when you only see pain in front of yours eyes you’re are blinded to the possibility of true happiness.

It’s impossible to be anything you aren’t, but you must love yourself first before trying to commit to loving someone else. The biggest mistakes we make is trying to live up to someone else’s expectations when they don’t fit their own.

If you continue that way you will find your nights filled with tears filled pillows, while the object of your affection is half way across town doing wrong. Meanwhile you are giving 100%, going out of your way to make them happy doing all you can to make it work. and They are giving you 20% and really think their doing something. Keep in mind that you deserve better..it’s up to you to demand it or move on.

Not to mention the fact  that they feed you lies on top of lies and you just eat them up! Do you rather smile through your tears, with pain in your heart or let it go? When it hurts and all the solutions have been considered, that’s when you have to let go and walk away! I rather be by myself then dating someone and find myself always alone wondering where the HELL they are?

Reality is, everything takes work and energy, so if your not willing to tell the person upfront, be honest with them.

More important be honest with yourself don’t let anyone become some much to you that you don’t matter anymore.

Have you ever found yourself so lost in love that you didn’t even recognize your own reflection? How have you changed yourself for a mate? Have you ever changed for a mate  only to find out they wouldn’t make any changes for you? And If you did was it worth the effort?