One day a friend of mine pointed out to me that she didn’t know why I worried so much about being judged because I always judged others. This statement hurt my feelings but it was an A ha moment for me. It helped me to start becoming less judgemental of myself so that I could be less judgement of others.
However, trying not to judge yourself or others is very hard to do. I was invited to a party by a new friend of mine. she was the only one there I felt closest to although I was aquainted with her friends who were hosting. The party consisted of an international group of people there (which I love) and I felt very comfortable.
When I walked in I was immediately introduced to a few people who seemed friendly but there was this Dominican girl that was not very friendly at all. As I went to shake her hand she handed me her wrist instead. As you can imagine I instantly judged her. On the other hand her husband was totally opposite. He was very friendly, open, and cute I might add.
Later I was sitting down eating and I caught her starring at me with darting eyes. I thought maybe I was being paranoid so i took another glance to make sure and I was right. She was still looking at me like she had a bone to pick with me.
I wanted so badly to ask someone what was her problem but being that I only really knew one person there I didn’t say anything about her until she left. At that time I decided to approach my friend and reluctantly asked her if it was my imagination or was the girl not friendly. Turns out I was not the only one who noticed.
Now we have both begun to engage others in this conversation about this unfriendly girl and most people assured us that they felt the same way and we were not imagining this. I even told them how she handed me her wrist to shake instead of her hand and how rude I thought it was. I failed to tell them she appeared to have done that because she was eating with her fingers and was trying not to hand me her dirty hand. Although her attitude was not pleasant regardless of her reason I know I didn’t tell that tid bit of info to make her look even worse.
The truth is I wasn’t feeling the greatest about myself that day and she was a perfect target. I felt myself rallying for others to talk about her. It was then I realized how much I can judge others. No one probably would have said anything about her if I would have kept my big mouth shut.
This girl could have probably been the nicest person we could have known but I only saw one guy at the party really try to engage her despite of her seemingly unfriendliness. I’m sure the fact that her english not being good probably had alot to do with her stand offishness amongst being around alot of english speaking people she didn’t know could have been a big factor. Need I mention she was pregnant too. Can you say hormonal?
Whatever her issue was none of us has the right to stand and judge anyone. Do you often find yourself immediately putting people in categories? Do you even notice that you’re doing it? Is it still considered judging if everyone one else felt the same way?
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