When you find yourself all the way to the right or all the way to your left you will always end up being stressed out. It is not until you find your center that you will be in your power and have peace.
A therapist told me once that we go from one extreme to the other before we come back to the middle. That rang so true for me and it continues to happen at random moments in my life.
I’m finding that the more I understand how these cycles work my stress levels are lower because I know that some valuable lessons are being learned and in the end I will come back to my center and be even stronger.
Recently I discovered that for years I have been putting on a false sense of confidence. The reason for this is because I have always felt like a target for being made fun of because I’m a feminine man.
I deliberately remember telling myself to hold my head up high and to never let anyone think that what they said about me hurt me. Fortunately I had a very critical family and I already had somewhat of a tough skin.
I remember a friend telling me in high school that she loved the fact that I was always smiling and I told her that most times I was smiling on the outside but crying on the inside. It was so difficult struggling inwardly with my sexuality.
I know it’s cliché but you really can’t judge a book by its cover. That false sense of confidence was shattered years ago by a traumatic event in my life and it is when I discovered all of my frailties.
For years I have been working to put back all the pieces of my life and continuing to discover who I am and who I’m not. Although I still have insecurities my confidence today is real.
Learning to love yourself with all of your imperfections is a very difficult thing to do.
I did an exercise recently and wrote down everything I like about myself and everything I don’t like about myself. My don’t like list was a bit bigger than I hoped it would be however seeing it written will help me accept or make more adjustments to myself.
All of our insecurities and frustrations lie within ourselves and if we don’t figure out what they are we will continue to project our issues upon others.
It’s not easy to take responsibility for our own actions and I’m not going to lie it hurts. It’s much simpler to blame everyone else for the chaos in our lives.
If you’re asking yourself today why do you keep having the same issues happen over and over again the right question you must ask is what am I doing to keep getting myself in this same place?
Reprograming ourselves is not an easy task and you can choose not to but your life will be like a hamster running in the wheel moving but never going anywhere. Which option will you choose?
Facebook
!!! iLove