Emotional Roller Coaster

Hello readers I’m back after a brief hiatus. I have been on an emotional roller coaster this past few weeks but the good thing is that it gives me lots to talk about. I had someone I know confide in me about their eating disorder which made me reflect on my own obsession with my body. I have had to take full responsibility for something that was not completely my fault and the list goes on.

Something that I have learned about people and myself is that nobody can ever really know completely who we are. We are an evolving species and most times we don’t even know who we end up becoming.

I had a client tell me that I was different from what I used to be and that she used to be afraid to ask me to do something different to her hair because I would snap at her. I was a bit stunned by this and began to question her just so I could reflect on my attitude.

She thought that I knew how I was behaving and to a point I did but I didn’t know the negative effects my attitude was having on others.

I realized that I was so busy trying to run my business smoothly that I didn’t have time or the want to change my order of business. I felt like my clients should have trusted if I said a certain style or chemical service wasn’t needed that I was doing what was best for them and trying to make things easier for their lifestyle.

She told me if I’d explained that to her she would have understood. I apologized because that was not my intention to make her feel uneasy. One huge fact that I have realized is that even if you didn’t intend to hurt someone but you did that you must acknowledge their feelings about it and apologize.

Over the past years I have really begun to see that what most people say and do never line up. I have always tried my best to show up if I say I’m going to show up or do what I said I’m going to do.

One day a friend of mine told me that most people just tell you what you want to hear and that I’m one of the few who actually follows through. That really shocked me but the more I grow the more I see how true this is.

I know that I’m not perfect and this emotional roller coaster ride has really proven that to me but I realize that I am so much harder on myself than most people are on themselves. I’m tired of the pressure I put on myself thinking that my best isn’t good enough.

I’m tired of taking full blame for things that I’m not fully responsible for because other people fail to see where their flaws are.

I’m moving into a new phase of my life. I’m tired of playing this same scene but I realize that if the scene is going to change I have to change my role.

Are you tired of playing the same scene in your life?  If you are then the change needs to start with you. Stop blaming everyone for the issues that keep coming into your life and ask yourself what is it that you keep doing to bring them to you. Good luck!