Can Men And Women Be Just Friends?

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My Facebook inbox is full of questions at one time or another. and yesterday I?received?a question from one of my newly adopted Brothers and the conversation went as follows.

SB:? "If you are involved with someone and they have a "best friend" "brother" "cousin" or whatever they want to phrase it, that comes to town, is it alright to be out at 3 in the morning with them? How about your people brings this individual to your job WITHOUT saying something to you before hand, but as they are in your presence making plans to eat and be dropped off at their house afterwards by this person, is that disrespectful? They tell you they wanted you to meet them but never mentioned that until they were actually there and the plan was made, how would you handle that? Now mind you the one you are involved with tells you of prior doings where they were drunk with a "best friend, brother, cousin" and wound up "accidentally" naked and knocked them off. Question here is, are you justified in how you feel which is it was wrong the way the situation went down?"

The SingleGirl: hold the phone..that was way too much going on there..."your girl" (just for sake of argument) has a friend (whom she slept w/on a drunk night). and she brought him to your job and didn't mention it with them. and hung out with him until 2 in the am? alone with that man? do i have it right so far?

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SB:? "No not the same dude. The one she slept with was a "brother, cousin. Homie" type as well. The "we grew up together" dude. This cat is altogether separate, however she throws the story about him being that close as well....follow me!"

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TheSingleGirl's Answer:? well first I would ask a dumb question and that is do you trust her? and if the answer is yes, I would suggest that you sit down with this dude and see where he's coming from. If this is your lady you have to pee on her leg so to speak so that he knows that a real man is around and he should know that he shouldn't cross the line BUT if you don't trust her then that is something you need to address with her before hand. the other thing I would ask is if it would be ok with her if you stayed out until 3 in the morning with a female friend and nothing happened?

I have plenty of male friends with whom I have spent night hours...maybe working or just hanging out without there being anything salacious going on. BUT that is because of me not because of them.

As you know, I don't really think there is a such thing as a "platonic male friend" completely...they just haven't been giving the opportunity to have sex with that woman yet. If a man invests any type of real time getting to know a woman's emotions it is probably because he likes her. So at this point I don't know if your problem should be with her completely but you have to let him know that you know the game. and some times women can be ignorant of these facts ( i have been guilty of that too) but it is ultimately her job to make sure that you are secure in your relationship since she is the only who actually owes you an explanation of what's going on. I hope this helps.

Do You think My friend should have anything to worry about his girl hanging out with a "friend" until all hours of the morning?

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