How to Properly Give a Man Oral Pleasure

Become Oral Pleasure Pro

Become Oral Pleasure Pro

Uhm I come from a generation of women who think of  Fellatio other wise known as Oral Sex was just something to do on special occasions but research has shown that young ladies are putting us old girls to shame.

We now live  in “a head as a handshake world,”  Where young ladies are giving oral sex as a way to preserve their gifts (of virginity).  I had one guy say to me that he kind of actually missing “cuming on”  a woman because as he puts it “everybody swallows.”

And while I don’t know these who these women are, I am kind of inclined to believe him. So in the “Name of Research,” I had to do a little digging to find out what men like us to do when we are giving them oral sex, or better yet what makes Good Head In-fucking Credible.”

As a woman, I figured the best thing for me to do was to give my opinions on the subject of oral sex as a giver… and then see what the actual penis carrying men have to say on the subject.


I guess it didn’t hurt that I decided to conduct my “research” at 1:30 in the am when I called these men to ask them how they liked their dick sucked.  Let’s just say they were delighted and confused at the same time, When I asked what I asked them how they liked to be pleased orally and then hung up the phone after I had my anwser.

So General consensus on how to give Great Head is:

“If she really wants to know what works for me she needs to ask Me”

First and Foremost…Everything is subjective

What may work for one may not work for all. So the best and most important tip I would say is to ask your partner.  Don’t just go in there thinking you know everything. If you aren’t mature enough to have the conversation you might wanna skip the act. Ok PSA Over..

Wet Wet Wet Or “Sloppy Toppy”

As one man called it seems to be the most enjoyable by most men.

“Well, Yeahhhh,” said my friend  “who like’s dry Head??”

One guy described wanting to be “Drenched in spit.”  Although that doesn’t seem to be everyone’s preference when I was watching Karinne Stephine’s video a while back the thing that surprised me about her “technique” Was how much spit the woman produced.

After attending New York City’s popular sex toy shop “Babes in Toyland’s ”  seminar on the subject , some suggestions were to  Drink Water, before during and definitely after the act; to Help you to stay lubricated.  There are also water based lubricants you can use to help you achieve some additional wetness. I guess you would have to find one to your “taste” pun intended.

Attitude Attitude Attitude

One gentleman told me the best oral  he had ever received  was to from someone who, and I quote…

“Loved me & Love to give me Head.”

He explained that too many women do it as if they simply do not want to do it and it spoils the mood. One article I read described the philosphy of some women “wanting to just get it over with,” as not sexy.  Shit I have definitely been there.

The point of it giving your man oral sex to provide your him with maximum pleasure and doing something that is ultimately pleasing to him. When I keep that in mind it makes me think better about doing the deed. Giving maybe better with gift giving but getting is definitely a good thing when it c0mes to oral sex, and if you like to get it done, believe me he will be just as pleased to have it done to him. I am pretty sure that everyone of you have had bad sex or had sex with “that guy” who just got “his” and did not care whether we derived pleasure from the sex act or heaven for bid got an orgasm.  You don’t wanna be seen as that kind of girl do you?


So My suggestion to you if you are going to do it. You should at least like it or don’t do it. On the flip side..I feel that men who ask for it, get whatever we are willing to give.  Gentlemen if you have to ask a woman to give you oral sex generally, she’s just not that into you….

Eyes Have it

Eye Contact is very important because it sets up the mood of the action before and after.  Take your time to examine the penis, look at it carefully.  There are a few reasons for this.  First is obvious, you can examine it while you are looking at it for obvious signs of STDs  (BuzzKill).  Second if you are in the act a lot of men think it is extremely sexy for a woman to keep and hold his gaze while they are sucking his dick.


Deep Throat

This isn’t for the faint of heart and sho nuff not the easiest thing to try.  A few articles I have come across, suggest the easiest way to do this is to practice practice practice.  I remember being at  a bridal shower and one of the guest told a story about how she had tried to give her husband oral pleasure, only to end up throwing up on him…I’m sure that got him in the mood.  Needless to say you might not wanna try this on a full stomach, or have sex on a full stomach for that matter.

The Trick to this is to try to position yourself at an angle where your mouth and your throat are aligned for easy unimpeded insertion. The Best way I could describe such an angle is to say for example to Lay on your bed with you head hanging off, So that your head is all the way back.  The other is to practice your breath control.

Inhale through the nose on the down stroke and hold your breath for as many up-down strokes as possible and then exhale through the nose on an upstroke.” Courtesy of The

One Tip If you Swallow as you move the  member deeper, you will actually move your uvula and allow it to go further. ( that soft tissue that dangles and causes your gag reflex). Side note..I have no fucking idea if this works.. I guess you will have to trust the experts on this.

Winter Fresh

Let’s face it, sometimes a mouth is not just enough.  Your mouth might also need a little help.  I have heard that if you use Oraljel in the back of your throat, it will help you to deep throat.  I have also heard that if you brush your teeth, or use mouth wash before consummating the act it will provide additional sensation and stimulation for your partner.

Gag me with a…

I have to admit I laughed out loud when one of my interview subjects told me that he liked “ A lot of gagging, even if it’s fake.” But then when my sister posted this on her site yesterday I figured that there might be something to this.

Technique Twist & Shout

That puts that song in a whole nother perspective.  But “Hand Movements”  are almost as important with men getting the job done than just bobbing your head up and down as if you are bobbing for apples.  Of course the easiest method is to suck it as if you are sucking a lollipop or a popsicle.  But you should also use hands as well.

According to the New York City based sex shop Babeland‘s website, “ Grip the cock around the base and slide it up and down, hand-job style, in tandem with your mouth. (Some folks like a tight squeeze, while others may not, so check in.) This is great because you can cover a lot of the shaft this way without worrying about taking the whole cock in your mouth. You can concentrate on the super-sensitive head and suck as hard or softly as you and your partner like.”

Make sure to make full use of your tongue.  If  you move your tongue in a circular motion around the head of the penis this should cause an incredible sensation.  According to “HOW TO SUCK COCK – A 14 LESSON TUTORIAL there are many techniques you can try from the butterfly Flutter, Traveling figure 8,  The Circle or Lolipop Lick.  I suggest you go on over there and give it a read..I found it extremely interesting.

Balls need love too..

“But women be too violent” said one gentleman,“you got to be careful with them they’re sensitive.”

Some men love it if you show his balls some attention to. I’ve heard them talk about loving it when a woman can fit the penis and balls in the mouth at the same time. Uhm sounds like a little man comment, but testis are incredibly sensitive. 

So gently sucking, licking or even fondleling of a guys testicles can cause increased pleasure, so don’t leave them out of all of the fun.

Finish the Job

I almost called this shut up and just swallow, but pah-lease don’t let me be the one to tell anyone that because I’m a virgin…But I do have some friends who don’t feel like they have not done their job if they do not swallow.  “It’s like the cherry on top of the sundae..You not finished without it,” my friend said.  This is completely up to you and your partner. Some men think that it is the best thing ever to see you drinking his cum. But to each his own.

In closing I will use this quote “Just Act toothless,” one guy said.  I had to say it though I feel like I’m stating the obvious, men’s sex organs are their most valued possession and should be handled with extreme care.  If you aren’t sure about something make sure you ask them.

Some men don’t like a chatty cathy when it comes to a woman giving head  I’ve heard, “She should just shut up and do it,” More than once.   But one of the most important comments I got from the men was, “She should be willing to learn.”  It’s ok to not know everything and to ask it is the ultimate sign of wanting to please your mate.

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What do you think?  Will you have fun Practicing? Any tips on giving him oral pleasure I missed?

Leave me a comment I would love to hear from you…

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Niki Banks The Single Girls Guide to Men Was the Brain Child of the Site Creator writer Nikita Banks. Ms Banks has worked in the world of Sports and Entertainment as a correspondent for many national publications such as ESPN the Magazine,, King, Hip Hop Weekly, Smooth and more.